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title: hello. in need of venting my frustrations.
like wtf. guys are so fucked up lately. quarreled with one over a genting trip a few weeks ago. quarreled with my boss ytd. quarreled with my supervisor today. like a fuck sia. this kingsley lam ah. damn ass. i mean cmon. ive changed a lot compared to my past. i used to be a fucking major petty girl in the past. but ive really changed. & though im still as vulgar, but im trynna cut down on it already. you cant see it cos you're not always together with me. i have my anger, my frustrations. of cos if i suddenly just explode, you cant blame me what. ive been very patient with everything. & you just blamed me for that. yeah, for that. just for that! it's just ridiculous. ive always been there for everyone. literally every single one of my friends. you should know me better than most of them! & yet, you cant understand. sigh. huge disappointment. some people just wait for everything to be done for them. i dont. i join in the discussion. but i dont get any credit at the end of the day. instead, i get scoldings, blames etc. so unfair. so major unfair. sigh. :( & this supervisor of mine. number 2 ass. after all your anger, your scoldings, you tell me it's all jokes?! after blaming me for everything, you say it's just jokes?? gosh man. i really dont know what to say. you said "
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title: love. love, why you make things so difficult?
why cant you be simpler? what are you love? i cant understand the meaning of love anymore. sigh. quoted from a friend that posted on fb, "You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn’t complicate your life. Somebody who won’t hurt you." sigh. :( im very tired. |
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title: Jetlag Why did you have to come back? My heart was already almost done healing. Now you're back, its like stabbing me with a knife. It was already 92% healed. But bcos you returned, the remaining 8% overpowered it! Why must you?? Whyyyyyyy q. You're torturing me you know? :( i still do like you very much. You too. But we both know it will never be possible. Sigh. Im damn stupid.
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title: thoughts. talking to a bestfriend. she said im as silly as her but im way stronger. which well, i gotta agree. having to go through so much isnt easy.
though what ive gone through isnt like as though i lost a loved one or some other things. but being in my shoes is as tough too. going through countless times of almost losing my mum. no dad when i grow up. (please dont tell me at least i have a step father who raised me up blahblahblah cos it's all bullshit.). getting molested countless times as well. had suicidal thoughts cos ive always thought im a letdown to my mum & my other relatives. & cutting myself over dumb fucks. i guess somehow... all these things has made me a lot stronger than the past. so to this dearest friend of mine, let yourself overcome the fear & let yourself start growing stronger day by day. i'll be with you always. no matter what. even if in future, we dont agree on some things & we start having arguments, i promise i will not leave. no matter what, this friendship is very important to me. cos you're a very important friend. & i will never let our friendship get destroyed. :) i love you bestfriend. :) |
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title: a part. drifting away. new friends. no need the used-to-be-a-lot-closer-friends already luh. its okay. im fine with it. :)
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title: hello august. see you next year july! july has been rather alright to me.
yesterday was the first time i felt happier i guess? he actually do take notice. asked about my family. my studies. etcetc. he even told me his history & his future plans. the feeling of wanting to see him is getting worse each day. knowing im in the morning today & he's in the evening. he asked me about wednesday cos he thought im in the morning tmr too. lol. i know its wrong. i do know. & i recently realized something which he pointed out. he said i treat him badly & im not as nice as i am to the other guy. lol? so i realized that, when i like someone, i tend to wanna hide it. so i'd do things to make the other party think that i dont really like him. example? well... i would be rude most of the time. have that fucked up attitude at times. treat him as badly as i can. lol. that's just me. & i also found out something! lol. i actually like guys whose english is good! lol. well, like k? a? q? weird hur. i wont do anything wrong. but for now, please let me be happy. for that little while. i promise i wont go over board. i promise. |
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title: sorry for the lack of updates. but i have nothing to write or whatever. hahaha.
i'll write in point forms.
i'll try to find some pictures &post it up! :)                 pictures are in random order. so yeap. till i blog again! annyeong! ^^ |
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