im having a serious stomach-ache that looks like it will kill me soon.

a few moments ago.
krys & karylan was talking about how much stuffs we did last time.
they were listing it down.
haha.
than karylan listed it to me.
haha.
super funny luh.

i miss everything before this project started.
:(
we dont have much time for each other now.
it's true though.
video group is always having meeting.
while plushy toy is always staring at each other.
poor them.

i miss,
-singing fei ni mo shu with karr & krys.
-laughing super loudly in class.(which i still do except that it's getting lesser)
-being late for morning lessons.
-having breakfast before going up for lessons when it has already started very long alrdy.
-going to school with karylan.
-camwhoring with them always! (it's getting lesser & lesser now. :( )
-talking shit in class.
-talking loudly.
-them coming to my house to bake & cook.
-shopping!!
-spa!!
-eating good food!!
-going to esplanade with girlfs + thom&jes.
-buying snacks to class & sometimes krys will get caught by mr chia.
-going kbox with you girls.
-playing mario kart & taiko drum on ds & screaming like nobody's business!
-cabbing to school with karylan, cabbing home with karylan.
-playing taidi in class!
-mrs joanie. :(

so many more things.
but i forgot already.
oh well,
it's 3am now.
krystal is packing chicken rice for me later in the morning.
&& i need to wake up at 9am.
toodles! :D

thank you ahkor.
you totally made my day.
:D
im fine.
dont worry okay?
:D

NS life must be quite tough eh?
add oil yea!
:D

another year has passed.
you're 14years old already.
please study hard & not learn the wrong things.
& michjie loves you & treats you like my own lil sister.
so please dont disappoint me okay?
take good care of yourself cos i wouldnt be free to visit you these few months.
listen to your papa & mama.
dont bully your meimei.
listen to your 2 brothers if it's ever necessary.
hahaha!
alright, hope you`ll have an enjoyable birthday my dear.
:D





somehow,
i think i trusted the wrong person?
i dont know leh.
i dont wanna think negatively.
im not pin-pointing at anyone seriously.
so relax.

it's to everyonethough.
dont misuse my trust for you.
whatever i tell you,
please dont tell others.
would you like it if i tell other people about your stuffs?
even if the person you're telling is my goodfriend,
dont do it either.
if i didnt tell him/her, means i dont want him/her to know too.
so please, dont do it next time.

this is not being sensitive or what shit.
i trust you that's why i share my stuffs with you.
if you do it the next time,
do you think i`ll still trust you?
no.
definitely not.
it's like,
you told my friend about what i told you.
now, his telling me im thinking too much.
it's like as though his saying im too sensitive.
or even worse,
he might think that, "eee. why is she like that? she's crazy is it."

& sometimes,
if you tell people about what bad stuffs i did & worse thing is,
they hardly know me.
they`ll think that im a very bad person.
please, think before you say anything okay?

im not scolding you, im not putting the blame on you, im not quarreling with you.
im just telling you. i just want you to understand.
so in future you`ll know.
(:

anyway,
i went back to secondary school today.
haha.
saw alot of people.
than went to cwp with cousin, aaron.l, zhijun, ben & aaron.t
caught 4bia.
super scary.
zhijun & i were . . . . . . .
:x
ahaha.
than went to comex fair @ suntec with aaron.l, aaron.t & ben.

ohya,
krystal really cheer me up a few days back.
she did two pictures. (look at the last two)
& one of it was really hilarious.
haha.
thank you assyhole.
me love you lots. :D:D!

day wasnt good.
everything didnt go smoothly for me only luh.

i told one of my friend.
friends come & go.
it's just part & parcel of life.
people walked out of my life many times already.
im really getting used to it even though it hurts alot.
but what can i do?
right?

those people who promised they will always be there, still left isn't it?
dont make empty promises to me if you think you cant do it.
you guys promised you will lend me a shoulder,
a pair of listening ear,
& even advices to make me feel better.
now?
everything is different.
very different.

how am i suppose to feel?
what am i suppose to even do?

coming back was your decision.
leaving was also your decision.
all i do is wait.

waiting is something very sickening if you didnt know.
hah.

poping pills & getting scars are minor.
serious.
they are just minor things.
no, they are also part & parcel of life.

dont say you care for me becos you pity me.
i dont need you to pity me.

dont say you really care when you dont mean it.

what i want is a true friend.
true bestfriend.
not someone who lies to me over & over again.
i had enough.

this part of the drama has only you acting in it.
i was long gone already.

looking back at those memories seems like a facade.
i dont know what else to say.
true friends will know how to comfort me.

will i even get any comfort from my friends?
hah.

im always left alone.
really getting used to it.
the scars i did today will always be here to remind me of you.
:D

kamy, thanks for caring so much.
im touched by it & i appreciate it alot.
you're the best kamy.
:D

meiting, thank you too!
:D

steffi, though you're forever so noisy.
but thank you for standing by me always.
:D

me love you girls many.

hello!
morning peeps!
okay, not exactly morning yet.
but still, morning.
hahaha.

yes, im not asleep yet.
steffi will scream at me when she reads this later. :x

was talking to aaron teo.
he just went offline to find someone in his dream land.
:x!

haha.
well, for me.
im still thinking of the layout for the cd cover.
:(

no inspirations luh!
aaron.t kept showing me quite a number of MV for sad songs.
make me so moody lor.
ass.

okay.
it's 4am now.
i have around 6+hours of sleep.
soooo, toodles peeps!
:D

heyhey!

today was a beautiful day(minus off the raining luh)
haha.
met up with my sweet-Xinyi & Steffi!
headed to far east.
ate at ljs.
walked around.
still looking for my gladiators.
freaking ex & dont have my size. :(

camwhored in the toilet.
& headed to cineleisure to find my dearest peiting.
she booked a gameroom at level 9.
cos she never play wii before.
so she wanna try.
& she asked me along.
so , i went.
LOL.

we played bowling.
super fun can!
i played with her boyf.
hahahaha.
fun like shit sia!
:x

after that game, i went off.
was supposed to find aaron teo.
but nah.
didnt luh.

went to tamp with xinyi-sweet & steffi.
than sweet went home.
steffi & i went to whitesands for late dinner.
& we went home.
:D

- AaRoN [ Abc01 ] - smile. says (12:23 AM):
hey! put below ur recent post say u forgive me le la

okay. ive forgiven you lar.
cos of that previous post, that's why he asked me to put this.
LOL!

okay now.
affairs of the heart.
(if you ever knew how much you mean to me.
if you will ever know how much i care for you.
than i think you`ll never treat me like how you`re treating me now.
im sorry for falling for you.
i didnt do it on purpose.
it isnt you, it's just me.
i know guys.
guys always go for people like my girlfs.
they will never go for people like me.
i miss primary school life.
i was much better.
the guys i like will always accept me.
it's so much different now.
i know, totally my fault.
what can i do?
i hate my life now.
i hate how im living in this stupid world.
it's too realistic.
i just cannot take it anymore.
perhaps tomorrow, i`ll be back to my secondary school life.
how i`ll become emotional easily.
how those band seniors & girlfs always advice me never to cut my wrist because of guys like you.
how those girlies always tell me they'll be there but it's all empty promises.
hah.
how i wish i`ll die of some sickness with no pain at all.
yea, how i wish you know i`m typing this because of you.
that's how deep ive fallen.
but please, dont bother.
cos i know, i`ll never be in your mind.)

pictures time!

i wanna post something about you guys first.

i have been having mood swings almost all the time this few weeks.
im sorry about it.
but why cant i be willful when you guys can be mean & give me attitude at times?
why?
i feel so unfair.
yes, i may be the only girl.
but so what?
it doesnt give you the chance to take advantage of my kindness you know?
i`ll get hurt sometimes too.
the harsh words that you guys often say were very hurtful although i know you were just joking.
but sometimes,
it just hurts so much that i wish i wasnt even in this group.

yes, when you guys are nice.
your can be really nice.
all the laughters & smiles you guys brought to my face were memorable.
but the mean times were the ones i hate most about.

im not someone for you to vent your anger at you know?
i can give you a shoulder to cry, a listening ear or even a piece or advice.
but please, never vent your anger on me.
esp, guys.
i hate it to the core!
if you need me, i`ll always be there.
but please, never take advantage of my kindness to you guys.

thank you.

anyway, school was okay.
the aarons were late again.
6 buses of 168 passed by before they reach.
gosh.
script was handed in today.
mr joel seemed to like quite abit.
(anyway, my script was about me & kingsley.
like how we became bestfs, how we got close, how i like him & how we quarrled.)
eh kingsley, no offence ah.
i just ran out of ideas, so i used this.
sorry eh.
but i doubt my script will get chosen though i kinda like the plot & all.
hahahaha.

oh well,
my mood swing kinda started after class.
sorry jes, steffi, karylan, meiting, krys & aaron lim.
didnt do it on purpose yo! ^^v

haha.
alrighty.
i wanna play game now.
today is totally my rest day.
haha.
toodles! :D

went to riverside this morning.
collected nyaa cert.
cant stay long in school.
zhijun came to the gate & talk to me, steffi & aaron lim.
after that,
she went back.
we went to cwp & have lunch.
after lunch,
aaron teo came.
& went to school together.
(YAO WEI OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.
STOP MESSAGING MY FRIEND & HARASSING HER.
YOU'RE SOME KIND OF A DESPO/SICKO IS IT?
GOSH.
GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN PLEASE.
& ARE YOU EVEN A MAN?
DARE TO DO IT THAN DARE TO ADMIT IT TOO LAR.
DO YOU EVEN HAVE BALLS?
STOP BEING SO EFFING CHILDISH PLEASE.)

wonder who i offended sia.
this is the second time im feeling so pissed over strangers.
using my name & trying to have the intention to break my friend & i apart.
gosh.
it aint gonna work okay!
ass.

anyway,
school's good.
igv class was good.
our video was good.
comments from teacher was good too.
all thanks to them esp Jesmond.
cos he did the editing.
& i seriously didnt do anything for this mtv.
so yup.
sorry yea.
:(

after school,
went to tamp with aaron teo, kamy, steffi, jes & aaron lim.
kamy & jes went to samsung.
while the rest of us went to look at earphones.
heh heh.
we're gonna buy the same ones!
woooots.

after that,
went home.

im done with my flashy flashy already.
left with the action script only.
:D

hospital check up tomorrow.
me very scared.
me need to wake up at 6am tomorrow.
me very tired.
:(
me hope there will always be a shoulder for me to lean on when me scared, tired & SCARED.
LOL!!!!!!!!
:x
about the shoulder thingy, im serious lar.
haha. :D

anyway,
A.T im sorry nah.
dont always so fierce leh.
you also quite bias lor.
only treat me like this.
i also dont see you giving the rest of our group members attitude.
:(
i also got feelings de lor.
ass. :(

i dont know what to blog about.
but i have a few pictures with me.
the rest are still with krystal.
might be getting them tomorrow.
so yup.
pictures are all mixed up.
so im sorry for being so messy with these pictures yea.

me going for check up on wednesday.
me going to tell them about my heart being painful for almost 3 days already.
hopefully everything will be fine.
God bless me please.
:(

(osebecintnodem. otllafgnitratsmiuoyrof.)