EDITED!

if only you could see what im trying to say in those sentences.
:(

im sorry.
i know i shouldnt.
please dont be mad at me.
im truly sorry.
i just couldnt hold it back.
scars were left behind.
& im not trying to repeat history again.
but, it's hard.
everything is coming back.
i really dont know why.
im sorry.
please dont make me stop all this.
it's okay if you dont want to return it,
just dont stop me from doing it.
& please dont be mad at me for doing this.
im sorry again.


pengyoubianmoshenren.



middle of the night at 12.30pm?
4 of us were SKYPE-ING.
LOL.
yes.
haha.

im suppose to blog.
but i dont know what to type.
it will be a super boring post.

knowing that we're so far yet so near. i really dont know what to say worxz. never knew missing you would be so tough. gone means gone, nothing is gonna change. so much so that i hope you'll turn back. letting you go was the hardest decision made. everyday is like killing me. you should know how im feeling isn't it? i hope we could be like the past again. miss seeing your smiles & laughters, will you come back? you are not coming back anymore cos i was just lying to myself all along, right?
(:

everything i typed meant something.
:D

my dear, cheer up.
you still have us.
i always tell people.
it's okay to be sad.
it's okay to cry & let everything out.
but you're more fortunate isn't it?
you're left with so much wonderful memories right?
we all love you.
no worries.
:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0GEGvBt9m4&feature=related


must watch must watch!
i nearly cried!
the child playing the piano is blind.
very poor thing! :((

butbut, the girl called Connie who sang "you raise me up" is fu-yohhhhhhh.
look at how high she can go without going out of tune!
goodness.

*thumbs up*

i cried twice today.
first was bcos someone mentioned something i didnt want to remember at all.
a painful memory.
zhaokai, thank you for the shoulders.
(:

second,
nahh. dont wanna mention it.
we're a team.
so forget it.
im sorry.
i know it isnt the first time im crying during group discussion.
& i know you guys are starting to hate this kinda me.
im sorry.
but you guys must understand.
im not as strong as i look.
im as vulnerable as any other girls.
sometimes, you guys just need to look at me from another point of view.
sorry for the trouble ive caused though.
(: *peace (^.^)v

im tired.
i need a reliable shoulders.
i need a pair of good listening ears again.
i need someone who can be trusted again.
perhaps you, again?


pictures time. :D






















所以如果我瘦下来,
你就会喜欢我了是不是?
& 我不用等那么多年了对吧?
如果是这样的话,
even if we're together for a few days or even hours
我都会很满足了.

it's not the height, weight, ugliness, poorness or whatever that matters.
it's the happiness of the ones you love that matters.
isn't it?
but too bad,
im not one of the ones you love.
:D

i really really really really really wanna blog about you.
because of you, i was very happy on my way home today.
because of you, i have the motivation to do things i usually hate to do.
because of you, (censored).
because of you, (censored).

i wanna blog in chinese so much bcos i wanna say alot of things out.
but, no.
i mustn't.

imy alot.
:D

(wait wait wait. although bernard & i are "husband & wife" & although i said i wanna blog in chinese. but this is totally not bernard please. totally not! bernard & i in real life equals to no feelings at all man. so yeap. just wanted to clarify something. :D )

first of all,
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST ZHUZHU!
lol.
honestly, i think we only took 1 picture throughout our 5years of friendship.
we also took neoprints onceee!
hahahaha.
but heck!
i still love you plenty.
:D
i accept you for you.
not because of your life & all.
:D

secondly,
thanks to Xinyi sweeeet & Nelson
for getting me famous amos cookies for my belated birthday.
thank you so so much.
i love it!
:D





well,
for yesterday.
i went to Muar(?) which is at malaysia.
went to durian farm, mushroom farm, yoyo factory(which sells alot of goodies to munch) & another goodies store(but i forgot the name).
yes, i enjoyed myself alot.
(except for the durian farm part)
they even ate durian for LUNCH!
OH GOD!
you shouldve seen how much i wish i wasnt there.
i only ate meesiam.
COS I SERIOUSLY HATEEEEEEEEEE durian alot.
hah.!

ohoh.
at night, we went to JUSCO to shop.
but sadly,
we only had 1hour to do so.
SOOOO, i didnt shop much.
cos seriously no time.
& jusco is like so so so so so hugeeee!
i havent even finish walking the first floor,
& i have to go back to the bus already.
effing sad.
:(

went to some apollo restaurant to have dinner.
food was good.
than headed to singapore.
tuas checkpoint is sooooo effing slow.
the jam is making me super pissed off lor.
like it took almost an hour to get us right inside.
gosh.

reached home around 12.30am.

for today,
woke up at 10.45am cos steffi woke me up!
than bathed & all.
cabbed to tampmall cos bus just left.
than went to tamp bus inter,
saw karr & jes.
reached school.
mr chia didnt go through anything today.
so it's just free & easy.
LOL.
brought goodies to school.
they loved it.
hahahaha.
than talked about video thingy.
discussed until 5+.
than went to find plush-y toy peeps.
left to tamp mall to have dinner.
went there with karr, jes, steffi, meiting & ms veron.
before that,
went to meet xinyi & nelson to take the present.
thanks again. :D!

than headed to yoshinoya to have dinner.
lol-ed alot.
haha.
funnnnnnn.
but sad thing is, krys couldnt join us cause she has to go home for dinner & she's staying very far.
:(

after eating, went to fairprice to buy bread & went to take bus home.

nowwwwwwww.
i have alottttt of pictures to post.
sooo, bear with me.
:D

hello! :D

been a few days since i last blogged.
well,
it has been YET another hectic week.
filming, projects, filming, projects, filming, projects.
it just goes on & on & on & on.

but honestly, im not as stressed up as the plush-y toy peeps.
esp girlfs.
poor thang.
all the best yea! :D

just fell sick last night.
had an ulcer near the throat area,
sore throat & a slight flu.
this morning,
couldnt really get to sleep.
so woke up around 8+am.
:(

tomorrow im going malaysia to visit some durian farm thingy.
so yea.
hopefully my flu will get better.
cos i cannot get to sleep with a flu.
it's super sickening.
LOL. :x

yesterday was quite a boring day at school.
tcher went on course.
another one took over.
she's very nice.
haha.

after lesson,
went to have lunch with steffi, meiting & joan.
karylan & jes joined us later.
while buying food halfway,
the fire alarm sounded.
gosh.
i didnt care of cos!
so continued to buy food & went back to my sit to eat.
the light went off.
almost everyone left cafe 1 to assemble at the field.
we didnt bother so continued eating
until one of the tcher came to chase us away.
gosh!!!!

our lesson ended dont know how long ago.
why the hell must we go?
:(
imagine people shitting halfway, or swimming halfway, or even bathing halfway?
they must run out ah?
idiot.
& by the time we got to the field.
the freaking tcher dismissed the school to go for their lessons.
waaaa.
super pissed off.
-.-!

like seriously lor.
waste my precious time & money.

after that,
went to find mr joel.
watched the documentary "unseen" that was done by our seniors a few years ago.
than watched "sky of love".
super touching & nice!
omggg.
i love it alot.
though i didnt cry as much as i should.
but it was still a beautiful yet sad story.
after watching, went home, online-d & slept at 11+.

as for the day before ytd.
it went o-kay.
filming was o-kay.
acting was a lil bit crazy.
LOL.
i hate my dressing a whole lot!!
it's just like as if the whole school is looking at me wherever i go.
[fyi: the whole school was really looking at me! :( ]
but girlfs + mong was really very understanding lar.
eventhough they wanted me to dress up as ugly as i can.
but they still covered me, they still let me be willful abit.
thank you. :D

waaaa. & you know something?
meiting & youxiang, goshhhhh.
they were suppose to hold hands WHILE ACTING.
but after NG-ING, they were still holding hands!
muwahaahahahas.
as in, really holding hands like a couple!!
& i heard people saying.
when yx hugged meiting jokingly.
meiting really hugged yx back.
GOSH GOSH GOSH.
will love sparks again for them?
muwahahahahas.
we`re still waiting.

anyway, im super tired & weak now.
so im heading to bed.
:D

omg.
you know something?
my friend quarreled with her "used-to-be-good-friend" friend.
LOL.
the conversation is really very funny.

im on the phone with meiting while looking at the conversation my friend posted at her blog.
i kept laughing & laughing & laughing.
serioussss.
LOL.

like first time i see people scolding each other "bitch" & f word on msn.
really very funny.
LOL.

butbutbut,
although copycats are common & doesnt really break the rules.
but guys involving into their own girlf's affair is really very STUPID.
like, let the girls handle their own stuffs lar.
dont anyhow "chap" into girls affair please.
nobody will like it.
instead, you will only ruin your girlf's friendship with her friends.
simply dumb.

sooooooooooooooo,
my friend rocks hell lot!
LOL.
im so proud of her.
she's offically a bitch i totally love alot.
my dearest JACQUELINE HUANG PEITING.
hahahahaha.
:D

im serious.

i have alot to say.
but im just too tired.
:(

i want samsung f700!
or better still,
a sidekick phone 3.
:((((((((((!

im so tired.
boohuhu.

i nearly got killed by a car yesterday, together with krys, karr, jes & steffi.
will elaborate why tomorrow if im not lazy to blog that is.
:D

i wanna go langkawi or tioman island.
beauuuuutiful placeeee!
hoho.

okay.
im off to bed now people.
goodnight. :D
(PFT IS NEXT WEEK. PFT=NAFFA)
MORE BOOHOOHOOS.

ohya,
regina!
thank you for lending me those stuffs.
appreciate it lots.
& good luck for your retest!
:D

you see bernard(my laogong) & joan there.
but bernard assured me that he loves me.
he even said, "you need me to kiss you to prove it, is it?" (in chinese)
waaa, i was so shock.
he say he loves me too.
MUWAHAHAHAAHHAS.
so first time can?
it was really sweet & nice of him lar.
hahaha. :x

sorry joan.
:p

well,
it has been a hectic school week.
like duhhh, seriously.
projects, projects & more projects.
work, work & more work.
stress, stress & more stress.
grrrr.

& today just has to get worst!
i thought well,
after school(which ends at 11.30am) i can go home & have my sleep again.
mr joel just had to tell xuan to ask kai tell us that,
we have to pitch our idea at 3pm.
3 FREAKING PM!

can you imagine how long the whole class(except plush toys peeps) waitedddd!?
gosh.
so krystal went to karylan's house.
jesmond sent her home.
meiting went home.
steffi & joan came to my house to slack!
i slept awhile.

& cabbed back to school for some "conference" meeting with the tchers.
as you know we are short of one person.
so after pitching our idea.
we told them about the shortage of people.
BUT THEY DIDNT WANT TO LISTEN!!
they said,
"you have to stick with this group!
five person is more than enough!
there were groups who were like this too but they did it.
some even do the whole video thingy themself!"

but if class PUP has 6people.
WHY do we have to have 5people only?
it isnt fair to us at all.
it's not a fair competition!
you guys used to say 6people is a MUST in a video group.
NOW? you're turning your back at us!
im super pissed off.

dont hold grudges on us bcos of your personal stuffs.
we want our future.
we have our rights too you know?
you can do it in a group of 5.
but we cant.
we're not as experience as you.
our manpower is totally not enough.
we're not davp students.
we dont just learn more about video you know?

but mr joel was really being nice.
he kept wanting to get our rights back.
he kept helping us.
this time, im siding mr joel.
im serious.
thank you mr joel.

gosh.
everyone was so angry about that please!
arghhhhhhhhhh!
i called & complained to my master wugui (krys).
& she was so angry that she complained to karylan!
hahahaha.

oh well,
what could we do?
we're just students.

sigh.
what a bummer~

alright.
well,
i want that viewty phone cos it has self camera!
so im still looking for phone with self camera.
cos im sai-ko(ing) my mum to get me a new phone soon!
LOL.
:x

eh,
almost everyone around me has a new phone.
jesmond just changed his phone to viewty.
kamy just changed her phone to samsung just now?
yea!
seee.
:(
how sad right?

anyway,
on a happier(?) note (i guess?).
fadilla joined the video group.
which is also my video group.
yes yes.
well, im happy cos there;s finally a girl in it.
but i dont know what im not happy about.
LOL!
okay, im weird.

so yes.
we dont have to dissolve already groupmates.
:D
mr joel is back.
he came for lesson.
everyone was chit-chatting.
including mr joel.
poor mr clement.
being so quiet at a side there.
:(

than we were talking about our video project for m8.
lol.
mr joel was talking about filmming it overseas!
oh gawddd!
i want i want i wanttttt!
mummy will allow bah(?) cos it's fyp?
hahahaha.
*cross fingers*

as for yesterday,
i went to swensen with steffi at whitesands after school.
we ordered student meal.
comes with a coke, pasta & ice-cream.
woooots!
price is hell reasonable please!
we only paid $30 something for this meal.
very worth it.
:D :D :D!

ohoh,
i forgot to mention.
mr joel told my groupmates that im a not-bad graphic designer.
HAHAHAHA.
roflmao!
i was saying, "whattt? no lar! crazy!"
than he said i learnt quite alot from krystal.
so krystal is my master.
hahahahahah!
yes, im her disciple.
LALALA.

so from than on, ive been calling her master wugui.
LOL.

pictures time! :D






plain water each for us.
2 coke each for us.
1 extra one for steffi cos she has their member card.
so it's a free drink for her.



hers.



mine. :D







all-time favourite!
sticky chewy! :D



edited by me hor.
dont laugh ah.
my master wugui is super impressive & powerful lor.
hahaha. :x