Why did you have to come back? My heart was already almost done healing. Now you're back, its like stabbing me with a knife. It was already 92% healed. But bcos you returned, the remaining 8% overpowered it! Why must you?? Whyyyyyyy q. You're torturing me you know? :( i still do like you very much. You too. But we both know it will never be possible. Sigh. Im damn stupid.

talking to a bestfriend. she said im as silly as her but im way stronger. which well, i gotta agree. having to go through so much isnt easy.
though what ive gone through isnt like as though i lost a loved one or some other things. but being in my shoes is as tough too.
going through countless times of almost losing my mum. no dad when i grow up. (please dont tell me at least i have a step father who raised me up blahblahblah cos it's all bullshit.). getting molested countless times as well. had suicidal thoughts cos ive always thought im a letdown to my mum & my other relatives. & cutting myself over dumb fucks.

i guess somehow... all these things has made me a lot stronger than the past. so to this dearest friend of mine, let yourself overcome the fear & let yourself start growing stronger day by day. i'll be with you always. no matter what. even if in future, we dont agree on some things & we start having arguments, i promise i will not leave. no matter what, this friendship is very important to me. cos you're a very important friend. & i will never let our friendship get destroyed. :) i love you bestfriend. :)

drifting away. new friends. no need the used-to-be-a-lot-closer-friends already luh. its okay. im fine with it. :)

july has been rather alright to me.